she found me lifeless.

Making decisions,

thinking about retaliation for me,

it cost me the sadness that leads me to that loop,

but I must learn from that.

This way

I don't depend

as if my last heartbeat was taken away by her.

I won't exist for her in this time

and that's okay.

Even if love remains in the air,

it will be an absence

in every word neither of us says.

I learned, at least,

to understand:

I existed before without her.

But it's complicated,

she has made my voices silent

for an indefinite time

and I, before her,

was not kind to myself.