The kid nobody came for

It never felt like my mom was really there, i don’t blame her, though.

She had to work, then she had to rest, and on weekends, she needed me to go to my dad’s, said it was her alone time.

I was the kid at school who got an asthma attack and had to wait three hours with the principal till my uncle showed up.

I was the kid who never had family at school events, they didn’t even know i had something those days.

I remember this one girl crying because her mom was late, i just thought she was so lucky.

The first time my mom came to see me was at my elementary school graduation, i was so happy i felt like i was going to explode.

When you grow up watching other kids get clapped, hugged, seen. Just one time someone shows up for you, it wrecks you. In the best and worst way.

I was the kid who got hurt in class so bad they had to call an ambulance, and hugged the teacher the whole time because no one else was there, they were all busy.

I was the kid who wait on the school gate for two hours because my mom said she could pick me up that day, i guess she couldn't.

I was the kid who's always in trouble, bringing stuff you're not supposed to, getting into fights, because there were no consequences.

They’d send notes to my mom, but she never read them. They’d call her, but she was at work. And when she finally found out, she’d just sigh and walk away.

I had my brother, but he always said i was too needy, i understand him now too.

He had to grow up with both our parents in the same house, that’s way worse than what i had.

It hurt then, though.

I get it now, all of it.

My mom was tired, working all the time, probably holding back her own breakdowns.

My brother had to grow up fast in a house that didn’t feel like home.

I understand why they did what they did, i didn’t back then, but i do now.

And i don’t blame them.

But it hurt anyway. Every time, it still hurt.