Is anyone aware of this?

I look at myself

trying to

desperately

find some relief.

or a simple thought

that won't make me cry

I can't find it

but

how can I even tell if it's even there?

I never met it

don't know what it looks like

a mind that's not burning

or pouring rain

that is green

and light blue

and pink

at least that's what I imagine it is

but

thinking a little deeper

is it even real?

is anyone free?

from looking at themselves

and see a fucking mess?

is anyone aware of this?