he was sunshine i was midnight rain

he was like… sun. i don't know how else to say it.

when he walked into a room, everything got brighter. people smiled more.

he made you feel like you mattered just by looking at you.

and i loved that. god, i loved that.

but also it scared me.

he used to grab my face like this, with both hands, and say "talk to me, please. i know you feel things. just let me in." but i couldn't. not because i didn't want to.

i just… i don't know how to be loud. my whole life i've been quiet.

he never understood why sometimes i'd just sit on the bathroom floor. lights off. listening to the water drip. he'd knock and say "baby, come back to bed" so soft, so sweet.

and i would go. but my head stayed there. on that cold floor. counting drips.

i never told him that.

i don't think about him most days. that's true.

i have my life now. it's smaller. quieter. nothing burns me anymore.

but then there are nights like this. nights when it rains and i can't sleep.

and i start remembering the way he laughed. the way he said my name. the way he looked at me like i was something special even when i knew i'm not.

i never think about him.

except on nights like this. and tonight… tonight i can't stop.