your cocoon.

and perhaps,

i did kill the old me to give way for the new one

she who i envied for her growth and maturity

she who i always longed to be

i recoiled in my cocoon as soon as i approached my new self

only then did i think of myself highly

like some sort of force that drives within and expands, until i myself was no longer

because the me who was in front of me had a way of mocking me

it was like looking through a very distorted mirror

and the person i was looking at was pointing

directly at me

as if to say, “i am more than you”

“you will always be beneath me”

and in a way i think that’s how i viewed other people

i thought myself unique in my struggles

at that very moment

because nothing seemed as painful as hating my own self

and other people simply existed to serve as a reminder of all the things i couldn’t be

but alas,

was this what i was born to become?

a creature full of self loathing and

hatred for the world?

and in this, very different moment

i shunned that very thought

holding my love precious to my chest

and stretched out my wings

ugly as they were

because i found,

i would much rather be hideous

and live with it

than to remain loathsome

and ashamed